1. We're made for greater things.

2. Things do indeed happen for a reason.

3. Be kinder to yourself, I'm not everyone's mother. Gotta think for yourself first.

I don't know when this irrational fear of commitment and responsibility developed, but recently I've just been thinking that it's going to weigh me down so much.

Over-consideration of possible consequences - whether realistic or imagined; over-thinking of an endless list of outcomes and backup plans; things that I realised are unnecessary but can't stop myself from doing it anyway.

Part of me can't settle, constantly craves for change and am spontaneous enough to take on all things thrilling while disregarding consequences. Yet another part of me tends to hold on too strongly to certain self-created theories, sometimes so strongly I can feel like it's weighing me down. I hate it that I see this negativity but can't talk myself out of it anyway.

I don't usually talk about emotions out loud but this self conflict has been brewing in me for awhile now, and I just don't know exactly when it'll get better. Guess there can never be a well-balanced line between vulnerability and defense, it always gets messed up by the slightest tilt.

I can have as many colours in my hair,

flowers in my hands,

and glee in my being,

as long as I fill my heart with hope and courage. 

We're young, I'll do what I want and what I like.